As my due date with baby #2 creeps closer and closer (just about 3 months away!) I'm struggling with emotions I didn't think I'd be experiencing at this stage in the game. Mother's guilt has always been an issue for me, well...for as long as I've been a Mother, but I'm feeling it even stronger in my current day-to-day life.
In addition to guilt, feelings of anger and resentment have been surfacing as well. I know how wonderful having a sibling can be and I do think it's a great gift you can give to a child; however, I'm sad that my daughter's attention will soon be divided. The time that she has to be an only child is starting to dwindle and I'm feeling more and more pressure to spend quality, 1-on-1, time with her (and I want to!).
I'm angry with my profession for robbing me of this precious time with her. I'm angry with myself for getting these degrees, racking up student debt, and accepting these positions that tear me away from her 5 (sometimes more) days a week, but force me to stay because I don't make enough to work part-time. Not to mention added stress and frustration that I have to be mindful about not bringing home with me.
I resent other Mothers who are able to stay home and focus on being a Mother or who work from home and have the shear luxury of being present for every milestone. Or those Mothers who are able to work part-time and soak up equal parts adult stimulus and child shenanigans.
Read this post on my feelings when first discovering I was pregnant with baby #2 and see how things have changed once reality started to set in. Hormones, perhaps? Yeah, we'll go with hormones...
On the plus side, Savannah gets to spend quality time with her Grandparents and Cousin during the week. She also gets to make new friends, create fun art projects, and learn A LOT at a home day care that she loves. Selfishly, I want more time with her but I know she is thriving in her life the way it is.
Thank you all for lending a listening ear (eye?). I don't mean to sound like a nag or a debbie-downer. Maybe someone out there can relate. Any advice on how to settle these emotions?
For those of us who are holistic-minded and health- conscious, oils are a great option for aiding us through labor and delivery. For those of us who have experienced L&D before, I'm 99.9% sure you will try almost anything to feel even a smidge more relief- again, oils are a great option. I work with essential oils from Wisdom of the Earth (WOTE); this is a medicinal grade oil unlike many of the "therapeutic" brands you see floating around the internet. Here are my recommendations for WOTE oils:
Anise Raven: “Facilitates harmonizing females in labor, delivery, and lactation”
Clary Sage: “Aids pregnancy, labor, birthing, lactation”
Amyris: Deep Relaxation
Lotus: Sedative and high calming
Buddha Wood, Wild Tansy: Meditation
Sweet Birch: Endurance and Strength
Elemi, Kanuka, Lavender/Lavandin, Peppermint, Rosemary: Pain Relief
Vanilla, Lavender/Lavandin: Calming
Fir/Lavender Family: Comfort
Lotus, Neroli: Sacral Chakra
Please don't hesitate to reach out with any questions regarding my recommendations above. Prices can be found here. I'm looking forward to trying some of these myself- I'll be sure to report my findings ;-)
*Disclaimer* Although I am not a physician, I've had some training in safe application methods and the various benefits and characteristics of plant and tree essences.
Like many of us, I'm a member of several "Mommy Groups" on Facebook. Every week I see someone asking for advise on what to (and what not to) include on their baby registries. Creating any type of registry is extremely overwhelming to begin with and everyone has such diverse opinions.
Bottom line, every parent and every baby is different. In health coaching, I talk a lot about bio-individuality, or the concept that "one person's food is another person's poison"; same thing applies to baby stuff! But...I can't help myself, so here's my 2 cents. Instead of overwhelming you with a laundry list of "things" here are my top 10 picks. In other words, these were our lifesavers in the first few weeks of life with a newborn (in no particular order).
1. Graco Pack n' Play with Newborn Napper - a portable, sturdy basinet that you can use as the child grows and becomes more mobile. Bonus: it's easy to pack up and store. It also makes a great toy bin ;-)
2. Graco Swing - because you need a break every once in a while!
3. Noise Maker - trust me, this is still a staple baby item in our house.
4. Jogging Stroller- we used this stroller WAY more than the regular stroller. It's easy to pack up and has a smooth ride (I noticed the difference with baby and also with myself- it was much easier on my body when going for walks, etc.). Bonus: the turning radius was much better for stores! (you'll also need to purchase this).
5. Burp Cloths - babies are messy and if you can avoid 1 mess a day, that's a win!
6. Emergency Stash of Formula - Whether you plan to formula feed or not, I highly suggest having a stash in case of emergencies. My milk supply ended up drying up and baby needed to eat at 2 am- this was a lifesaver (literally)! This probably means you should keep a bottle or two around as well.
7. Humidifier - We noticed a huge difference with our baby's health and well being by having this running every night. Still, another staple we use today!
8. Diapers/wipes - because you can NEVER have enough!
9. Clothes with ZIPPERS - sleep deprived mamas, save yourself the frustration!
10. Extra Infant Car Seat Bases because...ain't nobody got time for that.
So, there you have it! If you're looking for a simplified registry list of necessities in the first few weeks of life- this is it! It'll be interesting to see if this survival list rings true for baby #2!
Welcome to Moms in Harmony, I'm so glad you're here! My name is Meg and I'm a healthy lifestyle enthusiast, holistic advocate, wannabe blogger, Wife, and Mom trying to get the hang of it all. Kick off your flip flops and stay awhile!
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